All posts by StoryShadeSeeker

It would be so much better if we would have this conversation after I've eaten.

Eve I won't have my investigation derailed by an undiagnosed and frankly a little trying messiah complex.

No one cares about what you do next. I mean that in the nicest possible way.

You can have a bisquit when you tell me what the point of you is

I can't stand breakfast. It's just constant eggs. Why? Who decided?

Geraldine, why don't you go do your thing where you close your eyes and breath

Do you smoke? Nor do I. Shame, now would be good.

You take up a disproportionate amount of my time and my time is vey valuable to me. I have hobbies.

We have no time for you to react to that so don't feel like you have to.

Jokes are for people who do their jobs correctly Mo. So are omelets.

It is disappointing that the mole is the one who looks the most like a rodent

I can't promise I'll do any of it but if I do, I shan't be sober.

You need some cream for that sunburn. You look inflamed.

I once saw a rat drink from a can of coke just there. Both hands. Extraordinary.

Your accent is terrible. You sound like a drunk bat.

You would almost think that a vagina is an invisibility cloak.

*after being kidnapped* If you wanted a sigaret you could have just asked.

A sultan and a sultana are two very different things.

Villanelle and Eve will reunite in heaven